Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas at ma's house

Although I am not with my mama, brother and Grande' this year... I have some photos to share.
This holiday has been so sweet... so perfect.My mama and my Grande'
My family of four leggeds and two leggeds,
My brother on his new guitar, looking dashing!
What a gift this life is... to love and grow... to be loved and growing.
The greatest gift of all is this.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah from our family to yours!!!

A picture from the first night of hunnukah on December 21st...
Burikh Atu Adoynoy Eloyhayni Melekh Hu-oylum Asher Kiddeshuni Be-mitsvoysuv Ve-tsivuni Lehadlik Nayr Shel khaniku
Christmas morning...

Opening presents with Daddy
A new rocking horse and
A new guitar.
Such a mellow, sweet Christmas morning. Shane is in the kitchen making omelettes and we are getting ready for a big Christmas dinner with friends and family.
Many blessing and well wishes for the year ahead... May the light within you shower the world with its radiance.
So where have I been these many days?
Well you know that little handmade pledge I made... it turned into a lot of work and some really fun gifts:
Here are a very few of the many gifts made this holiday season:

Bodhi's annual birthday book... an altered board book, mixed media collage throughout... what a piece of work and how exhausting.
Mojo's art piece for the holidays... Totally sewn on the sewing machine. A paper patchwork background and the foreground is tea stained muslin with a female figure "drawn" in black thread on the sewing machine.

Some of Bodhi's felt gnomes
The resident felt witch.
And some of my handmade bath crystals... and that's just the beginning.

Friday, December 19, 2008

A dear friend just shared this quote with me and I loved it so much I thought I would pass it on:

“For the true teacher, teaching is not a technique, it is a way of life; like a great artist, he would rather starve than give up his creative work.” Education and the Significance of Life, J. Krishnamurti

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The weather outside is frightful...anything below zero is frightful... but the fire is so delightful.Owen spent all weekend reading books we gathered at the library...treasures and passports to far away lands.Bodhi and I baked our first tasty batch of gluten-free cookies, mmmmmmm.We decorated the house for Hannukah, Solstice and Christmas (minus the tree and electric lights). Everything looks so beautiful and minimal. I feel peaceful this Christmas, without the typical holiday insanity.Elijah is just happy that the dog didn't work out and he reigns supreme.LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

a tearful goodbye

My heart is heavy and my throat tightens against a storm of sadness. We had to say goodbye to our beautiful dog. A visit to the vet brought to light a serious case of hip dysplasia with significant arthritis. Our little dog went back to her previous owner/breeder today and my heart is heavy with tears. I can't believe I could have loved that sweet dog so much so quickly... particularly because she pissed and pooped all over my home and I am not much of a dog person. We are looking for a puppy now, a friend for the family and a buddy for Owen. I can't help feeling like I lost an old friend.
Silly, I suppose.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Why haven't I written in a while, well primarily because we just got a dog. Yes you read that right, a dog... Owen's Christmas present... my insanity... and a source of collective adoration. She is very skittish and we are hoping that she will fit into the wackiness of our family and begin to poop outside, eat kibble and play..
Meanwhile, Bodhi has adapted to the notion of doggie bowls with abandon and although he doesn't poop outside either, he is always ready to play!
More soon...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


A Thanksgiving too beautiful for words and too much fun to encapsulate in this blog, unfortunately I was lazy with the camera and only caught glimpses of a wonderful weekend. Here are a few:

Ms. Mojo on the phone, directing the Thanksgiving festivities.

Our cousin Melissa caught in mid laugh...
Baba, telling us another wonderful story...

Beauty on the trail..

Bodhi was positively smitten with the horses at Sopris Ranch... Ride em cowboy...

Christina listening...
Owen marveling over his good fortune at being surrounded by so many beautiful young women, all of them intent on playing with him....aahhh!
Remnants of summer's luster...

A magpie singing a love song to his equestrian sweetheart...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I roll out of bed like a thief, stealing moments of solitude like jewels in a well kept museum, ever vigilant not to set off the resounding "MOM!" alarm. With stealthy silence I creep down the hall, aware of the magnified sound of footfall on tile. I sit shivering in the back room. I would love a cup of tea... no too risky. Oh what about one of my inspirational reads? I weigh the dangers and decide on simply sitting here in the back room watching the slowly coloring horizon and cupping my few precious moments of stillness in my hands for warmth.
It is a matter of time really, maybe even minutes.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick...
And I am found out. My youngest stares at me with accusing eyes, hair modeled after Einsteins late period, arms extended, reaching..
"Hold me!"
I drop the solitude from cupped hands and fill them instead with the warmth of his body.
The thief no more.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The first snow of the year... HOW EXCITING!
Owen was up and out the door by 6:15AM, a new record. Bodhi was hollering by the crack of dawn, which in itself is nothing new, but he was yelling enthusiastically, "It snow, it SNOW!".
Such beauty in preperation for winter...oh we all know how much Angelina adores being cold, but it is quite lovely.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

day at the zoo

Who would have guessed that a trip to the zoo would leave me feeling like a strange human anomyly, a shadow of a woman. This is more the product of visiting the zoo with three boys, than of any innate psychological paranoia (well at least I hope so).
As my oldest son grows up I seem to be having more and more experience at being shadow-mom. We've all seen her, she's the woman relegated to the periphery, obviously somewhat irritating, called upon for food, money or potential safety concerns, but otherwise unnecessary. This has become my lot whenever Owen has a play-date with a friend and the adolescent conversation takes a downward turn toward destruction, battles and pokemon fed frenzies.

Meanwhile Bodhi, who regularly resembles a hybridization of Yosemite Sam and the Tasmanian Devil, attempted to climb every barrier designed for human safety whenever he wasn't running hell-mell throughout the park terrorizing animals and mother alike. The only thing the three boys seemed to unanimously agree on was to disregard and ignore the irrational reproaches of a shadow-mother's voice, softly reminding them to RESPECT, to THINK, to OBSERVE. After several hours of enduring my irritating presence the boys were liberated from my company when I simply stood up, looked at them all and said, "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE".--- (Well I didn't actually say it, but I did stand up and say OKAY time to go. One of the perks to being the shadow mom is that I hold the keys... for now.)
Otherwise, we had a marvelous time.

Bodhi screams with accosting enthusiasm from the glass door. "Squirrel!", he hollers thrusting a pointed finger against the glass. "Look Mama, LOOOOOK!"
I sit down beside him and together we watch the wiley antics of Bodhi's favorite nature show. Occasionally, he grows tired of his warm perch on mama's lap and begs for a closer view. We waltz outside with the grace and subtlety of charging elephants. Bodhi yells "SQUIRREL", clapping a set of small hands and jumping a full half inch into the air. He is always a bit put out by their hasty departure and yells long and loud into the waiting silence... "HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The audacity of HOPE

...HE WON!

true radiance

This is a shortened version of a poem that my wacky brother shared with me. I found it graceful and filled with truth and so thought to share it with you.

We already are the Beginning and the End
Release the seeking,
Let go of reaching for the next thing
Erase the false programming that you ever fell out of Paradise.
Whatever you seek will forever escape you
Whatever you study, research or even focus upon will forever elude you
Until you let go of your need for it

The Truth is You: walk it, love it and radiate it

You are what you are seeking
And the One you are looking for
You are the Treasure
You are the Tool, the Experience and the Partner

You are the total Field of Being:
Just seed Yourself

You are all the Radiance there is

~ Aya

Friday, October 31, 2008

Feliz dia de los muertos
Well, it's finished. Bodhi is snoring away in bed while Shane and Owen are eating out at Chipotle debating whether or not to extend the festivities. I am home, gratefully liberated from my witches costume and eager for a shower. Shane and I arrived for a multiple family trick or treating spree---we were the only people over fourteen years old, in costume. To say that we felt a little silly would be understating it a bit. I tried to blend into the furniture for a few shifty minutes, then we just laughed and did what we do best... made full fledged asses out of ourselves.
As Owen would say, "It runs in the family".