Sunday, November 29, 2009

patience

"Be patient towards all that is unresolved in you and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms, like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Live the questions now."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
I can remember the first time I read those words. I was in my early twenties and I was composed entirely of the unresolved. Now, in my mid-thirties, I have glimpsed the hem of resolution. When a moment of clarity arises, I want to grasp it and hold it and in that attempt I crystallize around that passing glimpse of truth, hardening at the edges. This pertinent piece of advice from Rilke's, "Letters to a Young Poet", rings as true today as it did 15 years ago and I am reminded to breathe into the question and be patient.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I have been in a bramble of my own making lately...too immersed in my own glimmering reflection on the glassy surface of life to enjoy the wide horizon beyond. Like Narcissus, I tumbled into the clear water and for a while I floated uncertain in its murky depths and then something unusual happened...my gaze cleared and I found that where I once imagined myself isolated and alone there was now a feeling of buoyancy all around... a feeling of expansion...as if the wall of self expanded opening, breathing, letting go...and the petty "I" seemed like a dissonant chord in the distance amidst a mighty symphony of infinite beauty. AAAAHHHH! There is beauty all around.
As we approach Thanksgiving, I find myself overcome with gratitude for the whole of it. For the shit and the glory- for the year in total- for the losses and the pain, for the vistas and celebrations, for this moment of letting go.
Happy THANKSgiving
Happy ThanksGIVING!

Monday, November 16, 2009

snow

Snow, snow and more snow. Oh my! I must say that I have so little appreciation for all things cold and with winter dawning enthusiastically, I find myself dreaming of balmy nights and the swaying ebb and flow of sea on sand. Now I know how unproductive and un-present that is. I am not so far immersed in self pitying to miss my rebellion against what IS and yet when the snow falls in cascades of white, blanketing the city, I can't help but appreciate the beauty with a melancholic longing for Spring.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I woke up this morning to the busy chirping of 3 nine year old boys, talking Pokemon, talking girls, TALKING- at 6AM. I crawled out of bed and opened the door to tell them to keep the sound level down. I stumbled into the back room and my jaw dropped as I passed the window. The sunrise was extraordinary. As my eyes grew accustomed to so much beauty, I wondered how many take-your-breath-away-moments I have slept through. I savored this one alongside three oohing and awing boys and hope to wake up in time to enjoy the next one.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
This incredibly gorgeous woman is my mama and the fabulous dog trainer and founder of Dandy Dawgs Nine Lives for Canines. I just wanted to show her off, to let her know that I am so proud of her and to tell the world how glad I am glad to call her friend and mom.
I know it's a wee bit sappy, but hey anyone who knows me KNOWS that I AM a wee bit sappy.

hiking again

We went for a hike up in Evergreen at Alderfer's Three Sister Park and it was LUSCIOUS. The weather was utterly dreamy and the constant visual feast of moss and snow, field and wood was satisfying in a way that only nature can be. Bodhi was dressed in his Pirate best and yelled "ON JARD (close to 'on guard')" to any passerby worth their salt. Owen looked absolutely dashing in Papa's borrowed hat and entertained himself with a constant dialogue of Pokemon sightings and adventures that drove the other members of the party to distraction, particularly those adult members straining for the nourishing sound of silence. Maya(the dog) made it all the way through the hike without serious threat of bodily harm from leash weary parents and Mama and Papa were just happy to be in nature with two happy boys on a brilliant afternoon. "Don't just do something. Stand there!"
-Buddhist saying


Monday, November 2, 2009

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
-Henry Miller