A day showered in gold, serenaded by the dance of leaves under foot and the song of water rushing over rock. Have I mentioned lately that I ADORE hiking/walking/meandering/wandering in nature. It is a haven from the busy thinking me, who plagues my days with constant doings.
Owen found several promising sticks for wand making.
Bodhi discovered vanilla scented sap from a beloved, beetle infested evergreen.
We oohed and ahhed over natures splendor, bedecked in ravishing, breathtaking glory.
Bodhi climbed rocks..
The boys actually got along famously!
And both boys spent many excited hours collecting fairy house supplies (Note: this is a fabulous way to keep young hikers motivated. I milked 2 miles out of them at a solid pace, without them noticing...well plus several snacks to keep them moving.)
It was, yet another, fabulous day in my favorite hideout...NATURE.
Okay, why have I posted a picture of myself studying in my meditation corner? I recently read a quote from the Buddha, "The moment you see how important it is to love yourself, you will stop making others suffer." It has been like a koan, stripping away my terra firma and leaving me uncertain. In our humanness we determine what is good and just and right within us and we lean toward it, grasping, hoping to convey our worthiness in some measure to the world. All the while we kick, bind, hush and hide the qualities deemed unworthy, leaning as far from them as we can. When someone mentions them in conversation, we bristle and rail, "Who are you calling controling?". Our emotional reaction loudly proclaims our resistence. Are we the grasping or resisting? Is there a vantage point devoid of charge? Does it matter if we are patient or impatient? good or bad? neither or both? What does it mean to love ourselves. I have often bent toward my "spiritual" self, my generosity, my open heart, my sensitivity, my intelligence and creativity. I have wanted to sculpt my projected image to best ensure a positive reception and a judgement of "Ah yes, you ARE worthy, capable and deserving". It is a subtle violence toward self and other. What if instead I told you that I can be controlling, material, manipulative, unkind and ungenerous? Would that be more true. Hardly. That would exchange violence for violence. Perhaps we love ourselves best when the weight falls squarely in the middle, when we hold the pendulum in midswing as it is right now, not tomorrow or next week or when we become holier than holy. Perhaps the life arising and expressing now IS enough. Regardless, I have a sneaking suspicion that it is all there is.
We had a fabulous visit from a real angel, Angelina Merrielo visited us from San Diego. She was Shane's Grandma Lor's dear friend and our soulsister. She flew into town with an expressed interest in throwing her first pot with Shane, which, of course she did with great success.
Owen was utterly smitten and has been calling her Auntie Ann ever since, with that love stricken tone of the utterly gone.
We then enjoyed supper together and a long winding chat about sewing, opera (she is a master seamstress for the San Diego opera!!), friendship and ITALY. I spent the evening falling madly, headover heels in love with her myself. What a woman!
This was the kind of day that memory blesses with golden hued longing and sweet autumnal perfection.
It all began with a day trip to Mount Falcon, with plans for a prolonged picnic and layabout session.
Well some of us read while other's among our party wreaked havoc...
Some of us dozed (me) and all of us stared with wide wonder at the beauty around us.
After the havoc reached a deafening crescendo, Bodhi decided to bring out the fairies and not for some peaceful, Waldorfian exploration. Rather, he set up a rather aggressive version of the three little pigs and cast himself as the big bad WOLF!
"Then, I'll HUFF and I'll PUFF and I'll BLOW your house down."