Friday, October 24, 2014

unspeakable beauty

When I am in nature, cradled in her wide arms, far from the proximity of human and cell reception, I exhale fully, from the bottom of my belly.
I relax.
Why?  I don't harbor a rose colored illusion of nature.  I often encounter mountain lion scat and approaching storms.  Nature is exactly as it is.  I respect it but I don't pretend to understand it and have no desire to change it.  I don't hurry to the next season or horizon.  I am too busy being thunderstruck by the waving grass, the changing leaf, the colors and smells, the melody and vistas, the beauty.  Nature is as it is and on some deep level I accept that, trust that and relax.
What is it in human that causes us to push against the NOW of our own experience?  Are we unnatural?  Or do we mistakenly believe ourselves to be and act accordingly?  As I turn to face my life, as it is right now, uncertain, vulnerable and changing, can I exhale from the bottom of my belly with a deep trust, that I am natural? That I am as I am, in this moment, unspeakably beautiful, as is.
Perhaps life is simply an invitation to live.

pathway of the sun

 Bodhi often wakes me on the weekend with a singular goal, to watch the sun rise.
Together we bundle up and drive toward one of our favorite hikes and climb the steep incline of a bare mountain in the grey light of predawn.  We wait. We listen.  We watch.  And the sun always rewards us.  It kisses sky, clouds and earth in an ecstatic embrace that leaves both of us awed and speechless (which as many of you know is something spectacular for Bodhi).
If I could give my children a single gift, it would be a deep awareness of themselves as natural.  Not merely a love of nature, something separate to be admired and visited but a deep identification with the interdependence of life and their natural place within it; a sense of celebration for the simple act of living and a reverence for the diverse expression of life in, through, around and as us.
 That is my most fervent mama wish.  The rest will take care of itself.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Let me get a horse under this here saddle

This kid!!!! Owen woke Bodhi at 5:15 AM to get ready to head to their school for Owen's 6AM drop off for his epic Bioneers trip to San Francisco.  When Owen turned on the light and leaned over the bed saying, "Wake up little buddy", Bodhi sat bolt upright and said, "I'm wide awake. Just let me get a horse under this here saddle!" before face planting back into his pillow.
Gotta love that boy!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

love

Love is simply what we are, prior to the exhausting and seemingly endless search for it.
No need to seek love – it is already here, closer than breathing.
- Jeff Foster