Sunday, March 28, 2010

last snow-snowmen


Bodhi and I built our snowman in the morning and Owen and Shane built theirs in the evening. Check out the mohawk! I realize Bodhi is decked out in a tank top, I was washing dishes and thought he was playing in the back room after his evening bath. When I looked out the window this is what I saw.

Friday, March 19, 2010

from, "a thirsty fish"


Show me the way to the ocean!
Break these half-measures,
these small containers.

All this fantasy
and grief.

Let my house be drowned in the wave
that rose last night in the courtyard
hidden in the center of my chest.
---Rumi (Translated by Coleman Barks)

Monday, March 15, 2010

gaze-shifting

I am interested in gaze-shifting lately...looking for the alternate view. I remember reading a book by Tom Brown Jr. when I was rather young, a certain passage has always stuck with me. I can't quote it, but the gist was about authentic "seeing". In our "label" frenzied world we are fascinated with words, as if words hold a certain power and once something is labeled, it is known. We label things (car, door, pencil, rock, shell, tree, leaf, flower, sand, etc.) and the moment we have labeled it, we stop "seeing" it. We don't look deeply. We label this person, place, thing, feeling or experience with a name or concept and consider it seen and tidily place it in it's appropriate cognitive category. In so doing, we miss the beauty, the mystery, the awe. Tom Brown Jr. was talking about this in terms of sand, how a handful of sand holds a rainbow of color, a history of unimagined proportions, unique and unbelievably beautiful. Few of us stop to consider "sand". We have a name for it, so it is understood, forgotten and unseen. The challenge is to drop the name and see everything as new. Then the world rolls in ecstasy before us, spilling unspeakable beauty, one grain of sand at a time.

Sometimes, I like to challenge myself to look for color or shape, instead of things, when I am out with camera in hand. Here is a taste from my recent Oregon trip:
Rainbow:
redorangeyellowgreen (Aaahhhhh! I don't think I ever feasted with such abandon on the verdent hue as I did this past weekend)turquoise
blue-purple
whiteGreysbrowns






still listening

"A great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: and after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice," (1 Kings 19:11, 12).

Perspective

I have recently returned from a trip to Portland, Oregon and the shift in climate, geography and responsibilities left me deeply puzzling the notion of perspective. We can't really see our own lives subjectively. We are so caught up in the motion of thinking, feeling, believing, existing, that we fail to step back from the busy edge of identity and truly enjoy the splendor of our own beauty. It is not only the wide vistas that we miss, but also the simple mundane magnificence of the moment by moment splendor of living. I have been pondering this idea of perspective for sometime. In fact my longest standing prayer has been, "Help me to see this differently". I wonder at our human experience and our audacious belief that our subjective truth is reality. I wonder at our rigid adherence to a limited perspective, preferring rightness over risking our own solidified self image. Perhaps we could challenge ourselves to wrestle with our imagined world in favor of the infinite possibilities of a world unknown.
Here are a few photos to illustrate a subtle shift in vantage:
Seer seen:
Seen:On first glance:
On further consideration:From a distance:and up closeFrom above:
And a few feet lower:A blossoming canopy:
A world of color:

Monday, March 8, 2010

party

SURPRISE!!!!!!The Katz crew threw me the best birthday party EVER and I had no idea that it was even happening...well I had a little leak...but I had no idea it was this elaborate, wonderful, generous and loving. Thirty-six is off to a fabulous beginning!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

peace and quiet

I was so inspired by the rule of silence in the hot springs, that I issued a similar mandate at home...I had to take a few added precautions to ensure the quiet.

thirty-six

I had a wonderful birthday. I began the day with a yoga class and then dropped Bodhi off with Shane and drove up to the Indian hot springs and spent the afternoon soaking in the geothermal natural caves. The water is 120 degrees and the cave rule is silence. AAAH now that is a rule I can handle occasionally. I stayed for over two hours alternating soaks and laying on the stones. When I left my relaxation was so complete I could hardly formulate a word. I came home to a beautiful supper prepared by Shane complete with gluten free chocolate cupcakes. My boys gave me turquoise and rose quartz, Tibetan bells and special candles. Shane gave me a beautiful Buddha and a huge bouquet of calla lilies. Oh what a perfect day!