Monday, August 24, 2015

Blooming

This dance of life has long been a conundrum to me, the ultimate zen koan. I tried hard to make sense of it all...to understand...to comprehend...to manage...ah yes... and to control... until something quite wonderful happened.  I came to the undeniable truth that I can't.  Whew!  In fact, that's the great comedic relief to the whole dog and pony show.  It's beyond our thinking.  We can lean into life, trust it and surrender. Not in some great sweeping, once-and-for-all enlightened "Aha! I got this" but in the ordinary moment-to-moment, leaning back into life. We can drop the opacity of self and embrace the unknown with all the hot messiness of our own misplaced longing.

After all this time, all these books, all these workshops, all this practice and all this seeking it's humbling to admit that it's just not that complicated.  It doesn't require years of ascetic devotion or my poetically, pious pretense masquerading as "I'm gonna get this". No.  Why? Because I don't need to "get" this.  The actual sexy, living, waking invitation is to trust the transparent, incomprehensible, vulnerable, awake, alive NOW to be, exactly as it is and me to be exactly as I am. In that fierce embrace, we don't need to understand life in order to live it, anymore than we need to understand love in order to love.

This robust NOW is the unltimate guru, whispering in every breath, that we are, ALREADY, right now, exactly what we have been seeking all along.  There is no other moment in which to bloom.  There is no other moment in which to be.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

True love

True love is like the love of a parent for a child: even though you feel frustrated at times, this love is constant. It is similar to life, which might drive you bananas at times or be really nice. 
This love is beyond the good moments and the difficult moments, which continue to happen. When you have awakened to this love that transcends every good and bad moment, a radical revolution occurs in your relationship with life itself. 
This is a love that has no opposite, such as hate, but is present through everything, in all moments. 
When you realize this, it is a revolution because, when you see that this love that you are loves the unlovable, loves what you're not supposed to love or what you were not allowed to love culturally, and is not paying attention to the separating rules of ego, you realize this is a different kind of love. 

~ From: Emptiness Dancing, by Adyashanti. 

Now

“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”     -Eckhart Tolle

Friday, August 14, 2015

light

We can experience countless sunrises and still fear the unknown darkness, lurking in the hidden recesses beyond our visible encounters.  Every day we experience the sun's birth afresh and fears are relegated once more to the periphery.  Yet in the dark of night, when our senses are blinded by the limitations of our perception, is it possible to lean back into the unseen, unknown and trust that all is well.  All is well.
Gautama Buddha is credited with saying, "Be a light unto yourself".  Perhaps if we linger in that uncertainty, when all our senses are screaming for proof, and rest, even in the midst of our fearful imaginings, we will find ourselves self-luminous.  Lighting our own way in the dark.
Perhaps.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Laugh anyway

I used to live in 
A cramped house with confusion 
And pain.

But then I met the Friend
And I started getting drunk 
And singing all
Night.

Confusion and pain
Started acting nasty,
Making threats,
With talk like this,

"If you don't stop 'that'---
All that fun---

We're
  Leaving."
-Hafiz

Find a Better Job

Now
That
All your Worry
Has proved such an
Unlucrative
Business,
Why
Not
Find a better
Job.

-Hafiz

Sunday, August 2, 2015

eyes to see

When I was very young, I heard a story and it goes something like this:
There are two birds that fly over the deserts of California, the condor and the hummingbird.  If you ask the condor what the desert is like, it will describe death and carnage, blood, rot and decay.  If you ask the hummingbird what the desert is like, it will describe flowers dripping with sweet nectar and an unspeakable beauty hidden everywhere.
Life is like that.  We find exactly what we are looking for.  We think it's the other way around.  We think it's random and "happening to us".  But the lens of our particular perception changes everything we see and all we experience.
We literally find what we are looking for.  But we can't trick the looker.  All our positive thinking-new age-psycho babble doesn't focus the lens, our beliefs do. Life isn't "out there" happening to us.  It is in here, happening in us.
If that's the case, perhaps we can stop our victim-perpetrator-coulda-woulda-shoulda stories and ask what it is we expect to see.  There's no judgment.  If I want carnage, it's not hard to find.  If I want beauty, I need only LOOK for it with eyes prepared to see.