Monday, August 24, 2015

Blooming

This dance of life has long been a conundrum to me, the ultimate zen koan. I tried hard to make sense of it all...to understand...to comprehend...to manage...ah yes... and to control... until something quite wonderful happened.  I came to the undeniable truth that I can't.  Whew!  In fact, that's the great comedic relief to the whole dog and pony show.  It's beyond our thinking.  We can lean into life, trust it and surrender. Not in some great sweeping, once-and-for-all enlightened "Aha! I got this" but in the ordinary moment-to-moment, leaning back into life. We can drop the opacity of self and embrace the unknown with all the hot messiness of our own misplaced longing.

After all this time, all these books, all these workshops, all this practice and all this seeking it's humbling to admit that it's just not that complicated.  It doesn't require years of ascetic devotion or my poetically, pious pretense masquerading as "I'm gonna get this". No.  Why? Because I don't need to "get" this.  The actual sexy, living, waking invitation is to trust the transparent, incomprehensible, vulnerable, awake, alive NOW to be, exactly as it is and me to be exactly as I am. In that fierce embrace, we don't need to understand life in order to live it, anymore than we need to understand love in order to love.

This robust NOW is the unltimate guru, whispering in every breath, that we are, ALREADY, right now, exactly what we have been seeking all along.  There is no other moment in which to bloom.  There is no other moment in which to be.