Monday, April 29, 2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

mountains

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity...” 
- John Muir

sunrise

At sunrise my whole heart sings with light...as if the whole of life is rising in my breast, dancing in the morning air and calling out from the depths of my belly with one resounding request... LIVE!!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

If I were a flower, I'd be a lotus or at least I want to be

Get out of the shit and reach for the sky!
The lotus rises out of the mud and murky waters to emerge unspoilt into the sky above.
What a beautiful metaphor.
If you find yourself in the shit or unable to breathe beneath the waters of emotions and turmoil, keep reaching toward the light...we all have an incomparable bud within us just waiting to bloom.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

snow day

 Okay a snow day sounds like so much fun in theory doesn't it?  Two boys.  All day.  Cabin Fever.  Hot chocolate.  Snow ball fights.  Tons of projects.  More snow.  More food.  More hot chocolate.  Turn on the TV.  More snow.  More projects.
By the end of the day I feel like I can imagine HELL quite easily.
Back to school and work tomorrow!

Monday, April 8, 2013

like water off a ducks back

What might life be like if I relinquished the need to have an opinion?  
I wonder?
Could I hear more clearly what was being said if I set aside my position?
Could I open more fully to what was felt or meant or conveyed?
I wonder?
We are all so eager to know the right answers and if not know them than to at least defend some stance with reasoned fortitude?
What would it be like to stand naked and open?
Listening.
I wonder.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

sunday

 I love Sunday!  It is a day filled with my two favorite boys, centered on family and full of surprises.  At 7:30 AM we convened for a morning meeting snuggled up in my bed to determine the course of our day.  Once we each had added our two cents we climbed out of bed and prepared for a smoothie war.  Bodhi's recipe consisted of strawberry yogurt, frozen strawberries, banana and some water.  Owen opted for pineapple juice, blueberries, strawberries and bananas.  While I chose bananas, strawberries, greens, spirulina and almond milk.  Everyone voted their own smoothie the best...well the boys unanimously agreed mine was the worst and I secretly thought they could be right.
Next, we visited our  favorite un-church, Mile-Hi and then prepared for worship in my favorite church-church...NATURE.
We found a perfect overlook seated on a wooden bridge, above a lake, at a nearby bird preserve and feasted in grand style.
When our respit was complete we enjoyed several hours beneath a blue sky, listening to the sweet sound of birds and watching the crazy antics of overfed water fowl.
When the boys clamored toward civilization once more, we retired to the aisles in our local library looking for literary inspiration, taking these wordy-wonders home to peruse with enthusiasm at our leisure.
Now the boys are seated in haromoious togetherness, watching an episode of my little pony as their final HOORAH before bed.  Seriously it was their choice!
I hope you enjoyed your day as much as we enjoyed ours!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

what I do

On my way to work this morning someone said to me, "Back to the grind stone huh? Work is work but you gotta do it!" and I burst out laughing.  Work is love.  Work is joy.  Work is life.  Work is purpose and hope and promise and inspiration and home.  I go to work like a kid goes to the playground.  I love my job and the many women I get to play with everyday.  I love the children and their creativity and insights and view of the world.  If work is the "grindstone" than it is grinding away my rough edges and false beliefs that life is hard and labor is difficult.  Today I played with clay all day and held baby ducks next to my heart and nuzzled the soft backs of chicks against my face.  I poured red paint lava over the top of a three foot volcano and helped children bring their ideas into form.  I don't go to work, I go to play!  Every single day.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

grace connections and lotteries

Dawn barely whispers across a dark sky and children still slumber sweetly beneath white downy coverlets.  I wake softly amidst a silent house with the thought of grace connections.  I call grace connections those wonderful human relationships that arrive as gifts into our lives, fully formed and intact.  Of course they evolve and change over time but they also don't seem to require much human effort to sustain them or maintain.  There are lots of other kinds of relationships: ones that begin with newness and develop into familiarity, ones that are riddled with awkwardness or tension or apprehensions.  They are all gifts and opportunities in their own right but those aren't the connections that stirred me from my slumber this morning.
As I lay in my bed I was overcome with gratitude.  I have so many grace connections in my life, too many to list.  So many human lotteries, who have arrived full and by some mystery of unmerited good, their love and friendship showers blessings into my life time and again.
I read about lottery winners who are overcome by stress and depression and loss when faced with all the money they could hope for. I wonder how many of us would prefer to maintain our stories of limitation or lack or suffering instead of embracing the freedom and unbounded love present in each moment.  It is human I suppose and then there is grace.  Grace.  A lottery of sublime proportions.
As I lay in bed, in this beautiful home, in this welcoming town, in this blessed life, I realize that I have won the lottery in so many ways and in so many people and am just beginning to fully see it, to trust it, and to live it.
Thank you.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

dancing

With Bodhi in bed listening to a book on tape and Owen in his room unpacking from a recent Illinois return, I leaned heavily against the old white farm sink and felt the weight of good-bye.  The Lumineers played in the background.  I stood amidst dishes needing to be washed and veggies waiting to be put away and memories outgrown.  Soon I felt the gentle pressure of a graceful hand on my back and turned to see my eldest son smiling softly up at me, he put out his hand in a quiet invitation to dance.  I smiled back, ignoring the tears still gliding down my cheeks, and accepted.  He lightly guided me around the kitchen and I gently taught him how to lead a woman and soon I relaxed, eyes closed and my son led...for the first time.  His chest expanded with pride and I smiled.
Boys be proud to grow into men. 
Discover what that means.
And know how to lead.
I am proud to watch this boy in his walk toward manhood.  I am honored to be his mom.

truth

Are you willing to trust love rather than your mind’s protection from hurt? 
If you are willing, then you will taste the possibility of living a life of love and conscious innocence. 
This is possible for everyone. 
Love is the teacher. 
If you are willing to surrender to love rather than trying to control it, love teaches you who you are.
---Gangaji