Monday, January 19, 2009
Motherhood has been more difficult lately, like running through molasses on a chilly day. I have been irritable and overwhelmed. Owen has been tearful, emotional and at times, hard to relate to and Bodhi has been, well Bodhi. I was berating myself last night for my impatience, when Owen broke into another whining, crying jag and I just asked him to visit his room. Normally, I might have tried to talk to him or hold him, but I had nothing to give in that moment. He went. There is rarely a time limit to a room-recovery time, as soon as you feel recovered you can come out. He stayed in for more than 30 minutes. I asked him to come out and talk for a moment. He did. I told him that I didn't know how to approach his emotions and that I was sorry for that. He smiled, in his beatific way and said, "Mom let's just put that behind us and move on". He then proceeded to tell me that he had figured something out, "Mom, since we got the puppy I just don't spend any time alone... you know, me-time. I am either with the puppy, with Bodhi, with Shane, with you, or at school. I need some time to be with just Owen, to play by myself, you know. I was feeling angry and emotional because I was overwhelmed. I think I will just spend the evening with myself if that is okay with you". I nodded, he smiled again and hugged me hard, "Thanks mom". As he turned, I said, "Thank you, Owen". He nodded, seeming to know that what he said about himself was true for the rest of us... each of us just needs a little more me-time.