I grasp at joy and avoid sadness. It's not unique to me. It is the human condition. We cling to imagined good and resist the uncomfortable. I sit here, packing my belongings again, my heart aching at the prospect of leaving my mountain. I sit not knowing. I look out at a misty horizon, uncertain. Where will we live? Can I afford a house? How will I support the boys? What is all of this about? Will I know/experience love? These questions rise and fall. When I try to answer each one, my body constricts in fearful response. In its somatic wisdom it whispers the simple truth, I don't know. The mind is unsatisfied with not knowing and worry is born. The truth remains. I don't know. And so instead of "taking thought", I wrap my arms around myself and feel. Sadness. Loneliness. Joy. Hopefulness. Fear. Regret. Longing. Doubt. All of it. When there is nothing left to resist, what remains? Life.