Today we chatted on the phone while he lay beneath flowering vines and bird feeders on his deck in Bonsall and I sat on a round granite stone beside a gravel bottomed creek at REI where Bodhi frolicked with characteristic enthusiasm. After a while it occurred to me that I didn't have any idea what my dad hoped for me in most aspects of my life, not the least of which was love. Having grown up with my mom, I never had the barometer of a fathers affection and esteem. So I asked him what he wished for me in matters of love, as water splashed and birds lighted on tree branches.
"I wish for you to be happy and to be loved."
"What does that look like dad?"
"I wish for you to be respected and cared for and for a man to spend time with you and to want to spend time with you...As much time as you want to spend with him. And for a man to play with you!!! That's my wish for you."
I smiled. "Thanks Dad, that's a good wish."