I don't pretend to understand it.
I no longer even delude myself with seeking strategies aimed toward that end.
In fact, it seems now, that all such strategies were subtle plans to outsmart pain, to outwit suffering, to out maneuver life.
A friend recently told me, "Many people say they love the rain but when they go outside in it they take an umbrella". To experience the rain (life) we can't truly experience it without an embrace of its essential wetness. If we are going to love it, we will have to get wet.
Stand naked in life and allow life to drench us and live us, to dry us and warm us, then and only then do we lay down our arbitrary separation from life's wholeness and truly LIVE.
I am learning, one droplet at a time. One breath at a time. One moment at a time.