I have been wrestling with intimacy like Jacob in the dark, demanding its true name. In a social landscape devoid of depth encounters, true intimacy, real belonging, sustained connection and authentic familiarity, we are made to feel weak because we long for intimacy, we ache to know and be known. In our Western deification of independence, self reliance and autonomy we have perhaps carved a deep hole in our psyches. A hole that is felt as an indescribable emptiness and longing.
I have judged myself for so many years because I could not overcome my desire to unite, to connect. I have deemed it weak and flawed. I have exercised independence, bravado and a will power that astonishes even me at times. Still, I long to unite. With man? Yes, absolutely. And with all life too, human, bird, deer, tree, stream, grass, ice, stars, bum, friend. Why do we relegate this desire to the halls of psychology or spirituality. It is something we all share. It is our common vulnerability and if we listen to it we may just discover that this striving to preserve for the self alone is total BULLSHIT and is carving the hole deeper.
Just a thought.