Friday, December 4, 2009

growing up

'Tis the season and once again Owen has asked me, "Is Santa real", I answered with the same vague assurance that "Magic is real". This year it fell a little flatter than last, which fell flatter than the year previous. He is almost 10 years old and is asking a sincere question, hoping for an answer that he has already stopped believing true. Owen is growing up and although I have never been a proponent of holiday hype, the loss of Santa IS a rite of passage. I pondered Owen's question for a few days and realized that he was ready.
Tonight, while Bodhi napped, Shane and I sat with him and answered his question. We told him that the spirit of giving is real, the magic is real. Taking his hands, I invited Owen to join the circle of magic keepers. We lit a candle. We sat cross legged in a circle, Shane, Owen and I. We invited Owen to help keep magic alive. His eyes teared at the loss, rites of passage aren't easy.

As his Mom, I have witnessed Owen's arrival in the world, with his deep, penetrating eyes still swimming in a sea of infinite possibility. I watched him grow, crawl, walk, run, read, and cope with a divorce and it's accompanying sorrows. I watched him mature and each new thing has been a celebration and a loss. He is taking the early steps into manhood. My hope is that he will bring the beauty, the hope, the magic and the mystery of childhood with him. As Owen stood and left the circle I stared after him and was reminded that as we leave childhood our magic isn't lost, it just translates into hope and hope kindled will forever remind us of a world ripe with possibility and awe. A world that, as magic keepers, it is our task to remember.


Anonymous said...

A Rite of Passage, each Growing-Up Phase shows us that Light of Hope that shines from the doorway where something enormous is at risk. If we hold onto to the child in each of us, it will be a beautiful and wonderous thing and we pass through becoming more for it.

Saints and Spinners said...

My 6 year old daughter has periodically asked if St. Nicholas (I grew up calling him by that name) and the tooth fairy are real OR if they are mommy and daddy. I finally told her that daddy and I find out that the tooth fairy and St. Nicholas need our help, we will help them. She constantly wants to have the magic and yet know what's going behind the scenes.

I really like the concept of the circle of magic keepers.

Anonymous said...

I am reminded of what really matters in this world after reading this post. In my narcissistic frivolity, I have forgotten that the "true" world exists just under the surface of the muddy illusions I have come to believe. Thank you my dear sister you are a gift! Michelle

Wind said...

Wow...This is always something that I wonder about, keeping the magic alive in our family, yet watching my oldest child slowly shift her understanding. She has begun putting gifts in the shoes for our younger child and telling her they are from the fairies, without us ever having "the talk".
Thank you for the love you showed your sweet boy, and the tenderness with which you gave it. I'm glad Shane was a part of it.