Thursday, November 6, 2014

one: 27 days of gratitude

I was swimming in feeling, immersed in emotion, when something quite enlightening pulsed through my consciousness:
I have always felt my way through the world and although I have a wonderfully useful brain, I don't seem to rely on it as much in times of emotional distress. I am one of those INFP, feeling oriented people.  When I am around thinkers entranced by their own thoughts it is easy for me to realize, "It's only a thought.  That doesn't make it real".  But suddenly, while swimming in my own emotional current, it occurred to me that the same could be said to those of us who live our lives through feelings, "It's only an emotion.  That doesn't make it truth."
And so, I am committing to a twenty-seven day gratitude plan to short circuit this operating system.
Thoughts and feelings will always arise in the ocean of our life but if we dwell on the waves of sadness or thoughts of loneliness or whatever the next wave may be we are likely to miss the many remarkable gifts offering themselves NOW.

So here is a shout out to the blessings that fill my days with grace (I have to do a gratitude flood for day one or I will feel like I am just waiting to catch up in the days ahead):
Motherhood and the two greatest gifts my life could have ever hoped for, Owen and Bodhi!
 My job/work/joy and the unbelievable gift of doing something I love every day of my life!
 Angels on earth…my God Parents
Our beautiful home and the amazing gift of living in a beautiful space that consistently wraps me in welcoming arms and a deep sense of safety.
And I am grateful for all the incredible women, sisters, beloveds that fill my life with so much more than I could have ever dreamed of (and for all those I don't have photos of… THANK YOU!!!):

And for new days, full of possibility and promise.
I am grateful.


china cat said...

My sister,
Thank you for offering these windows into Angelina's life. I am learning this too ... all of these emotions that rise and fall in the waters of China. How big can I make my sea so as to hold the many fluctuations of the heart? I find myself now turning toward these waves of emotions, wanting to allow and soften to whatever is here. Otherwise, as I have discovered, it is a kind of aggression toward myself that really is of no use. But how hard it is to relearn the art of befriending my self! Here is to our re-discovery of coming back, again and again. May we proceed with kindness! I send you hugs, hearts. I hold your hand. I miss you.

Angelina Lloyd said...

I love you my sweet sister and miss the nearness of your breath and laugh and heart beat.