angelbirdflies

Cakes and Candles Dagwoods and new bikes... Singing cards... and a singing family... and a good time was had by all! Happy Birthday Owen Reed!!! Thank you so much for making me a mom and teaching me the ropes! Have a fabulous year!

We went to the botanical gardens and marveled over the utter brilliance of color, competing to dazzle the senses and startle the eyes. During a visit to the koi ponds, Bodhi and Owen discovered some fish pellets and spent the next several minutes cooing to the fish and giggling with abandon! There was a traveling dinosaur exhibit at the gardens and Owen had a blast trying to find all the dinosaurs hidden within the growing plants. All the talk of Dinosaurs got to Dad and he started telling everyone his favorite dinosaur joke, "What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?" "A Lick-a-lot-puss" Oh my God, I sped ahead red-faced and mortified, laughing to myself about my strokey and wacky, old man. Hilarious! Bodhi dressed up like a pirate to celebrate the day! And Owen enjoyed the final day of being eight! Tulips yesterday! And today...What on Earth is going on? Snowy days and Owen's birthday...We will post some birthday photos soon.

My Papa is visiting me for 8 wonderfully, wacky and wild days. It is amazing to see the passage of time throw its gossamer gauze over my strong daddy's frame. I feel fortunate for every borrowed moment, each press of the hand and smile exchanged. And although he talks about rambling and inappropriate topics, like viagara, swine flu, dentures and the obnoxious misadventures of my rambunctious two year old, with a persistence that is surprising, I am so glad that he is my Dad and I am his little bird.

I recently enjoyed the opportunity of leading a menarche ceremony for a young friend. What a healing process it was for me. Celebrating the transitions in our lives provides context to our spinning days and honors the content of who we are. Lit candles created a celebratory circle and inside, I placed a chair and a platter of cornmeal. We said a few words about becoming a woman and inhabiting the sacred circle of creation in a new and wonderful way. Next, she took her first woman steps into the ceremonial corn meal. Her mother and I took turns lighting a candle, a blessing, and placing the lit candle in the corn. Then mama washed her feet in rose water and I rubbed them with oil. Fresh and renewed we gave her a medicine bag and a special gift, circled our arms around her and whispered a blessing. Finally, we ate!!! Fresh cornbread and chili at a table especially prepared for the day. It was such a gift. I have often yearned for a daughter. Perhaps I will get to borrow many.

So the scissors have been flying again and voila...short...this is the shortest it's ever been, only 1 inch in the back...I had all this panic around it as it sort of happened while I was in the chair...whew...Samson lives on.

If April showers bring May flowers, than what do April snows bring? A grumbling mother, no doubt, and an impromptu art session at the kitchen table with two very dashing and talented youngsters. Their spectacular work, now adorns the fridge with grin inducing abandon and heart aching pride. Then, when no one was looking Bodhi pilfered my purse and discovered a stash of gum, which he popped into his mouth, foil and all with expedient chewing satisfaction. Have you ever tried to pry an ecstatic mouth open in order to extract its prize. It isn't easy and I regret to say that he ingested at least a piece or two before I wrestled him to the floor. All this before 9 AM. Thus far, it has been a relatively uneventful morning, albeit snowy.

Longing I walk, the heavy trod of years and flesh and pumping blood, toward the act of dawn, Door swings wide, open, hinged on unspoken sorrow. Longing for birdsong and dew, for sun-spray and breeze, for life. Not to possess, but to become, To stretch wide, beyond frail mortal encumbrances And breathe- breath of salt air and mountain, of desert and plain. Longing In that early waking hour, when dawn whispers across wide horizons, a remembering stirs, And I yearn to cast off the petty trappings of self, to shine. It wakes me in the night and leaves me sweating and restless, hungry for a lover's warm caress. Longing The dawn bends her noble head, tenderly kissing mountain, streetlight, chimney, treetop. A jealous ache, a frantic wish to merge. And then I chuckle. When smallness believed the world was flat, it danced in spherical splendor across a wide cosmos. When sun spun round the earth in heavy books, the universe staid it's course. When I stare out with unlooking eyes and lo...

Welcome back Owen! Bouncing between homes since his fourth birthday each transition, bittersweet. The tug and pull of two families a longing for one often overshadows his experience with the other. It's a hard thing for a mama to see. My selfishness occasionally dominates and I want to be enough ...enough love...enough mama...enough. But there is always more and a mama's love, no matter how pure, is seldom enough. So I love and watch and care. It is good to have him home for the eight weeks before summer vacation, my long dry spell, so I will enjoy a long drink of Spring hoping there is a bit of a camel inside me along with all this fish .

We had a big party today to say good-bye to our beloved mana (binkie). The table was set for the scene with a lovely rice and bean supper. We said a farewell to the mana prayer and repeated our good-byes throughout the meal. Then we mosied outside and threw that binkie right into the trash. Bodhi opened his "We're so proud of you" singing card We sang a good-bye mana song Made a wish and blew out a candle He played with balloons... And otherwise beamed with self-satisfaction.

Bodhi is back in the saddle again. He is taking breathing treatments several times a day and will need to continue until all the fluid is out of his lungs but he is barking commands with his traditional gusto. Thanks to Baba for visiting him... To Mojo for reading stories and bringing along some props for make believe... To Daddy for making even a sick day seem like fun... And to all of you for sharing your prayers and blessings! We love you!