angelbirdflies

Listen to the story told by the reed, of being separated. “Since I was cut from the reedbed, I have made this crying sound. Anyone apart from someone he loves understands what I say. Anyone pulled from a source longs to go back. At any gathering I am there, mingling in the laughing and grieving, a friend to each, but few will hear the secrets hidden within the notes. No ears for that. Body flowing out of spirit, spirit up from body: no concealing that mixing. But it’s not given us to see the soul. The reed flute is fire, not wind. Be that empty.” Hear the love fire tangled in the reed notes, as bewilderment melts into wine. The reed is a friend to all who want the fabric torn and drawn away. The reed is hurt and salve combining. Intimacy and longing for intimacy, one song. A disastrous surrender and a fine love, together. The one who secretly hears this is senseless. A tongue has one customer, the ear. A sugarcane flute has such effect because it was able to make sugar in the reedbed.

Distance is an illusion. We stand apart so that we may know each other better.

  “Te tiro atu to kanohi ki tairawhiti ana tera whiti te ra kite ataata ka hinga ki muri kia koe.”  – Maori saying which translates “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.”

A month ago Bodhi came into the kitchen with my phone in hand and said, "Listen Mom, I want to put you on a dating app."  I balked.  He countered, "Just listen a minute, with Owen gone and me growing up you just don't have much connection anymore.  You deserve to be loved mom.  We don't want you to be alone."   I hugged him and took my phone, on which he'd already downloaded some app called Hinge. I deleted it.  He asked me to think about it.  I did.  I even tried eHarmony for a few weeks.  I went on a few masked and distanced dates.   Here's what I learned: I DO NOT LIKE DATING APPS.   I probably don't much like dating.  I don't like cocktail parties either.  I'm easily overwhelmed by human maneuverings and terrible at small talk.  I am also not an easy chemistry or person to match. I feel life fully and don't consider that a weakness.  After years of relationship mishaps,  I am only interested in dating someone with a secure attachm