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Dating


A month ago Bodhi came into the kitchen with my phone in hand and said, "Listen Mom, I want to put you on a dating app."  I balked.  He countered, "Just listen a minute, with Owen gone and me growing up you just don't have much connection anymore.  You deserve to be loved mom.  We don't want you to be alone."  

I hugged him and took my phone, on which he'd already downloaded some app called Hinge. I deleted it.  He asked me to think about it.  I did.  I even tried eHarmony for a few weeks.  I went on a few masked and distanced dates.  

Here's what I learned: I DO NOT LIKE DATING APPS.  

I probably don't much like dating.  I don't like cocktail parties either.  I'm easily overwhelmed by human maneuverings and terrible at small talk.  I am also not an easy chemistry or person to match. I feel life fully and don't consider that a weakness.  After years of relationship mishaps,  I am only interested in dating someone with a secure attachment style who isn't looking for ideals but is willing to walk through life, hand in hand. come what may. 

I deleted the account.  

I cried.  

And decided to take the advice I have always given other people:"Keep your eyes up and heart open."  Love will have to show up in my life, old school, but I appreciate my teenagers loving observation.  

We could all use more connection these days.

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