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Showing posts from May, 2014

little by little

It all happens so quickly- birthing, nursing, walking, talking, toileting, schooling and little by little- growing up.  Little by little they leave the sanctuary of mama and move out into the world. And little by little all of parenthood is a series of small good-byes.  Little by little we release them into the world.  Sometimes my mama heart aches as I watch my big boys orbiting in lives that are foreign to me.  Sometimes I remember the ease of holding their warm bodies in loving arms, when all their needs were met easily within the orb of my own being.  I never once deluded myself into thinking that they belonged to me, rather I have always been grateful for the rare and exquisite gift of loving them and being loved by them.  And now, little by little, they are becoming big boys in a big world and I am watching them from greater distances as they grow and evolve far beyond the orb of my arms. Ah motherhood…it remains my most tenacious teacher.

Owen fourteen

Owen is fourteen now. FOURTEEN.  He is a beautiful young man, full of big thoughts, a loving heart and a deep soul.  I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity to be his mom.

Bodhi hiking

Hiking with my boys remains one of my favorite Mama activities and when one of them volunteers for a trip up a mountain my heart sings a little tune all the way up. Bodhi woke on Sunday and decided he would like to join mom up a trail.  As he hikes he is a philosopher half the time, discussing big ideas and deep wonderings along the trail. This time he composed a few impromptu poems: Cars and homes below, Sky above, A valley. Flowers like sunshine on green stalks, Line the trail, In Springtime .  He is growing so fast...sometimes my heart aches seeing the shift in my mothering take place as my boys no longer need warm arms holding them or lullabies carrying them safely to sleep.  They know their mama's love is never far from reach and I suppose, at times, that is enough.