angelbirdflies

Bodhi has become very interested in the homeless population of Denver. He asks questions, like, "Mama, does he have a home?" or "Where does he live?", etc. Recently he began requesting that we read all the signs they hold up toward oncoming traffic, "Old cowboy down on his luck", "You're getting very sleepy", "Anything helps", "Being homeless is no joke", "Willing to work", etc. I often carry granola bars in the console of our car to give when we see someone in need. As we were driving home from work on Friday, Bodhi asked me to read another sign asking for money. Bodhi asked if I had any money and I said "Yes". He asked me to give it to him so that he could give it to a "homeless". I gave him a dollar. Shortly we pulled up to a man standing on the corner holding a cardboard sign and looking haggard. I rolled down my window and explained that there was a young man in the back seat who...

A snowy sunrise and I went out in PJ's and snuggly boots to take a pic. Was it worth it for that little glimpse of color? Absolutely!

Owen pulled this little bout of self-expression out of his closet this week. When he came out swaggering with a hint of Mick Jagger mixed with Michael Jackson and asked me, "So Mom, how do I look?", oozing pride out of every pore. I had to smile and say, "Man, you look awesome !". And he did. Not just because he threw a tie over a white t-shirt and paired it with jeans, work boots and a blazer...but he added a fedora and some mirrored specs. Now that takes some fashion nerve! Gotta love that in a nine year old, when most of his peers are concerned with mastering the art of blending, Owen is content to express himself.

I never really understand the moods incorporated in being human. They seem so tangled and convoluted, each stemming from the other in some haphazard chaotic emotional landscape. Psychology (excuse me for saying this) seems to add more confusion to the mix. Raised on the manna of Freud and his offspring, we delve into the alleyways of the mind, tracing the trail of emotion in search of it's origin. And yet, the pursuit seldom yields peace. In fact, the search itself assures the tangled landscape, stemming from a desire to be rid of the offending emotion. I wonder if it there could be a simpler, albeit more daunting solution. I wonder if we could befriend the prickles, the edges, the tangles and soften toward them. Could we breathe in our own sticky, bitchy, edgy, embarrassing, emotionally messy self, in spite of the fact that she gets us in trouble and threatens our almighty self-image. I have a feeling that, as terrifying as it sounds, our simple acceptance will do far mo...

My guy! It has been an interesting ride for both of us. Relationships are such a learning curve. In that first rush of love we are overcome with the sheer beauty of our own idealized projection. Of course that projection is a disastrous set up, interpreted through the lens of desire, convoluted experience, belief and even disappointments. We interpret our mate and are astoundingly surprised to discover that they aren't what we expected. Well duh! Then if you are lucky, you can take off the barricades of expectation and begin to see the imperfect beauty of life unfolding in your partner. You can get to know who the other person is, again and again and in context you glimpse your own true face. It isn't easy. It is prickly, uncomfortable and rewarding. At times my own fear of self and other loom so large that I ache for an escape with obsessive tenacity. At others, my heart opens and I can see past the wall of self and love shines. And although I have long abandoned m...

This is what yoga looks like at my house, is it any wonder that my practice has become much less precise?

I walked in the door from work today and Owen was joyfully spinning circles in the living room with Shane. They had been joyously talking about the choicest super hero powers, which led them to a very serious discussion, centering around which super powers they would pick if they could choose six. The list is as follows: Owen 1 The ability to fly at any velocity 2 Super strength with no minimum or maximum 3 Ability to teleport at will 4 Invisibility at will 5 Invincibility 6 Control over the elements His superhero name is Elementis, his color is silver and his daemon is a harpy eagle. Shane 1 The ability to fly at any velocity 2 Invincible in any atmospheric condition 3 Time travel at will 4 Super strength with no minimum or maximum 5 Ability to discern the truthfulness of anything 6 Super intelligence without suffering (no tortured genius) His superhero name is Navi, his color is green and his daemon is the resident cat Eli. If you could...

On Thursday night, as I snuggled into my favorite spot in the front room with the book, Practicing the Presence , by Goldsmith, a loud bellow rang through the house, "HONEY! COME HERE!". "No!" I thought as I planted myself deeper in the pillows of the sofa. The call came again and again, with a rising panic and mirth. ARGH! The frequency of mama's quiet moments are pretty slim and being called into mother duty after 15 hours on call, isn't always welcome. I walked toward the family room and to my surprise, I caught the distinct waft of something unpleasant and saw Bodhi perched on the tiny toilet he has never used. He was perfectly proud of himself as he announced, "Mama, I poop in the living room!". Imagine that and I just thought I would read myself into relaxation.