My mentor once told me, "You can never make an authentic YES before you can make an authentic NO." That is true in all manner of things, across experience and emotional continents. It has been the hardest word I have ever learned to say. As it crosses my lips, my heart caves with a longing to please and love. It tries to find a way toward "yes", bending and bending and nearly breaking before a whisper of "no" rises to the surface. With each failed YES, I have been hardest on my self, demanding that I love more, judge less, evolve faster, become more mindful, more conscious, more forgiving, stronger, healthier, less needful...you name it. The times have changed. I can no longer contort myself into strange pretzels of consent in order to avoid a simple and strong NO. "No" pisses people off. So what? The reality is that people aren't all that dissimilar from toddlers and "No" also makes all of us feel a sense of safety ...