Skip to main content

Heart's Desire


Shane initiated a mock game show, Be a Millionaire, with Owen tonight after supper. I missed some of the details but the gist of it was that Owen could win or lose exorbitant amounts of imaginary money for catching a specified number of disks. In the end they wagered all the money he had won (several billion dollars) for having all his heart desired. He won and was giddy with excitement. Every pore in his body was vibrating with enthusiasm. Then Shane (alias, Billy Billerson) upped the ante, asking Owen if he was willing to wager all his heart desires in exchange for the ability to give the people he loves what their hearts desired. If he lost, he lost everything and if he won, he would win it all. His face was serious and sweat rivulets streamed down his forehead. "I'll Do It!", he exclaimed. Shane (aka Billy) threw the disks and Owen caught them. He was jumping up and down. I don't think I have ever seen him so happy. He wouldn't play anymore after that. He said, "Thank you sir, but I am finished now" and skipped into the house. A few moments later he stood beaming at me. "Mom, I am gonna wish that no animals have to die if they don't want, or get poached or anything. And no one ever has to be hungry or homeless. I wish that there are no wars and people never kill each other. I wish that every person has their own heart's desire and if they want to be happy they will be happy. If they want to be sad they will be sad. Whatever their heart desires they can be, but they can not hurt anyone else- that they can never do." Absolutely satisfied and feeling secure in the world, he smiled up at me. That beautiful, beaming smile of a child, so full of hope and promise, of belief and purpose. He asked me, "What will you wish first mom?". "That's easy son, I wish that my boys experience a healthy, happy life, filled with their hearts desires".
"A good wish", Owen claimed smiling and skipped to his room. "A good wish", I said to myself smiling at the beautiful boy bouncing down the hall, "A good wish indeed".

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

FORGET ABOUT ‘HEALING’

Some days,  you just have to forget  about ‘healing’. You have to stop trying to feel better, trying to overcome your emotional wounds, or trying to be anywhere other than where you are. You have to embrace the day as it is. And you have to give yourself the most sacred permission of all: To shatter.  To break.  To be an ugly mess. To lean into a place of utter humility and powerlessness in yourself. To cry out to the heavens, “I can’t do this!” To admit utter defeat  in the loss of the life  you had imagined. To crumble to the ground, lonely and hopeless and profoundly ruined. To want to die, even. And there, in the darkest places, in the blackness of the underworld, you may begin to rediscover... life.  And learn to love the beginnings. A sacred reboot: A single breath.  The way the sun warms your face. The sound of a tiny bird singing in the tree over there. The raw simplicity of a single moment of human existence. Hell has been transmuted, thr...

a story recently shared by a friend

 Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment. When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you." Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself...

He is no longer here

Another day has begun.  I have lit my candles and incense.  Sat in silence. Worked up a sweat at the gym.  Eaten breakfast.  Straightened house.  Answered mail and dropped my man off at the airport. It is eight in the morning and the world stirs with wakefulness.  The sun climbs in the sky.  The birds sing.  The squirrels chip and chur in tree branches.  A dog barks.  And I look with dull eyes at the long day ahead, contemplating a single phrase, "My father is dead." What strange words. My father is dead. The man has been leaving for as long as I can remember and yet his death robs the wind from my lungs.  My chest throbs and throat tightens.  He isn't coming back. My mom and dad had slipped out of one another's lives before I'd barely begun mine.  Two weekends a month my brothers and I stood on a saggy porch, bags packed, eager for our hero to arrive in his old blue Ford to pick us up.  We vibrated with hope...