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owen is back

Dear reader and adoring public...Owen is back.  He has been back for a few weeks.  It has been anything BUT smooth.  Infact I have seen some of my worst mother moments in the past few days, at one point I even found myself yelling at my two boys, with head spinning and foaming at the mouth, "Do you want a spanking?!!"
HELLO, what kind of question is that.  I don't even approve of spankings but in the past weeks I have seriously contemplated dipping them in honey and dangling them precariously over an ant hill.  Trust me, Mother Theresa I am not and all my years of trying-to-be-the-perfect-mother are flying out the window with alarming speed.  I wonder how one remains peaceful amidst the onslaught of motherhood and yet most days it is relatively easy, natural and even nourishing.
Primarily the issue stems around two boys fighting constantly, something that I imagine might drive even the Dalai Llama to consider corporeal punishment or, at the very least, a strong beer.  Add to that a recent return to working motherhood, college, managing family life, childcare, school activities and you have a very disheveled, stressed out, overwhelmed mom and a poorly functioning household.
So much for the modern revolution...I sometimes ask myself "Why?" and am always surprised by the stunned silence and the simple answer..."I don't have any bleeping idea."

And there you have it.

Comments

Wind said…
oh m'gosh honey, you must be my split apart at birth twin! I am having the worst (what other word is there?) mothering year and a half ever! At least I can laugh at your description. Boo-Hoo, please God see us through....
August 22, 2010 at 10:49 PM
Traci Hendrix Hart said…
Me too, girls...me too. Just when I wake up and start another day surmounting the aching feeling I *always* get (despite monumental intentions otherwise) from Wyatt for being so snarly and just plain difficult...Brady rolls around, smelly and whiney, and I then get to ponder what in the hell I've done WRONG...when, how many times, and is it to late for a refund or return or anything at all to put a stop to the calamitous job I'm doing as a mother. No wonder I eat for comfort, no wonder I drink for comfort, no wonder I'm losing my creative sparkle to this numbing, dragging guilt. Gah!...Well, it IS Monday, so maybe tomorrow will be better?
Hang in there, in any case. The road to....notoriety? sanity? looks like heaven but feels like hell?...is paved with good intentions, right?
August 23, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Angelina Lloyd said…
oh yes, too true. Guilt is indeed the great pacifier of humankind. A succor that allows us to keep doing the same damn thing by feeling bad about it. Truthfully, I think it is a useless emotion. How much better to just be aware of our failings and shift gears or take a gentle veer in a new direction. Much love to you Traci...
August 23, 2010 at 3:17 PM
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