Skip to main content

trust

Humans! It's as if we imagine our big brained attempt at controling life's details has any effect on life.  As if the sun waits for me to say "RISE" or the heart waits for me to say "LOVE" or "PUMP".  News flash...It doesn't.  Life goes on being life and I am convinced that all of our efforts to control it are truly and completely a waste of the moment.  Perhaps we can stop clinging with desperation to our "should be" and "not quite" and instead breathe deeply into the "is" and "now" with abandon.  Afterall, there is no peace without surrender and there is no surrender without TRUST.
So maybe, for an experiment, we can simply lean back into life's water and trust it's buoyancy enough to FLOAT and simply see what happens next.

Comments

Wind said…
When you reminded me to let go of all the obvious and perhaps not so obvious ways I try to control life, you literally helped me change my course. My Ego is still a bit weepy that I am asking it to accept things the way they are, but my spirit felt something akin to peace today.
Thank you my beloved Godspark.
Angelina Lloyd said…
I could not love you more if I tried. You are my Shams!!

Popular posts from this blog

Coraggio

When everything looks bleak and the darkness cramps against the cold, it takes courage to simply look out from imagined isolation toward the wide horizon of beauty available in every moment.  It takes courage to lean into the sea of life and trust the tide. When weary limbs no longer support us, it takes courage to trust our inner buoyancy and float.  It takes courage, in the face of darkness, to remember the light and sit in all our apparent blindness and listen, silently, to the still, small whisper within.  It takes courage, in that dark hour, when nothing else remains.  Eyes closed.  Eyes opened.  A glimpse, a memory, a fleeting vision of a light so bright it blurs the borders of things seen and things perceived into a comprehensive wholeness of being.  It takes courage.

tree digging

Yes, I know it doesn't look like much.  It was only about 5 inches in diameter and 8 feet tall.  The root ball was no more than 3 feet deep.  But it was a sweet red-bud tree that we planted the year Bodhi was born, his placenta was buried in it's roots and like many of the trees in our neighborhood, it died (see this post to understand why) . I can't say that I mourned its death in a tangible way, rather it produced in me a sort of unnameable melancholy.  I am a woman who loves the spring.  I nearly live for it.  When the first signs of life emerge like a haze of hope, I drink in green with the passion of a desert crawling woman sipping at an oasis.  I gorge.  This year has been hard.  Our neighborhood isn't leafing out in native splendor, instead the tired trees seem to begrudge the effort, only offering a tender shoot or bud occasionally.  The north side of many trees appear to have given up all together, too tired after a long winter...

grief

Grief is defined as a deep or intense sorrow. I have been thinking a lot about grief, about it's wide and sticky reach, about the watery quality of it's absorption and the agonizing effort of swimming to shore. Intense sorrow happens. It is a part of life. Yet we press against it. We try to eradicate it. How? We encapsulate our grief in a story, thus effectively removing us from the immediacy of the pain. The mind promises salvation and begins to tell a story, over and over and over. We listen to the inner ramblings, the constant diatribe, the neurotic attempt to avoid the experience. When someone is hurting we listen to their story, we talk about it, we recount our own story, but we certainly don't jump in the waters of sadness, instead we sit on the bank of our familiar longing. Once, when I was floundering in deep grief, my youngest brother knelt next to me and held me for over an hour. He didn't speak. He didn't commiserate. He just jumped in the ...