Here is a newsletter article I recently wrote for school...I thought I would share it with anyone who wanted to read it:
I have been an early childhood educator for twelve years and
a mother for over thirteen. When I
considered what topic to write about for this article, I had so many competing
ideas. Most of them derived from my
graduate work this year and the many things I am learning and practicing in the
studio environment. I started several
articles but there remained one topic, more than any other, that demanded my
attention and that was the principle of enough
love.
Several years ago, I became aware of the slippery slope of too
much doing. As a single mom, I realized how
easily I could overlook the quiet and unobtrusive invitations by life to show
up fully present. Each day we are
invited to fully embrace the gifts of the moment and savor opportunities to be wholly
available with those we love. As a busy
mom I knew that the two people most likely to suffer from a busy lifestyle were
my children. And so, in 2010, I coined the
term enough love. Together, my boys and I decided to use the
phrase enough love (which was quickly
shortened to enough by my youngest)
whenever they needed me, really needed me, to be present. Now when they ask for enough love I stop and give it to them. What this looks like varies from day to day,
but often one or the other of them will be having a challenging day and just
need arms to wrap them in warmth. They will
say, “Mom I need enough” and I stop what I am doing and hold them for as long
as they need. Sometimes I listen and
sometimes it’s just a hug. In these
moments I am not thinking of the dishes in the sink, or the bills on the
counter. I am simply holding them and loving them for as long as they need
me. It seldom lasts longer then a few
minutes before they push gently away and say “Thanks mom. I have enough.” And off they go, into their
own busy lives. In three years they
have never asked for enough love
except when they needed it.
This simple practice has had a ripple effect in my
life. It has changed how I parent and it
has even effected how I teach. I strive
to be fully present with the children and adults who enter the studio. I try to listen deeply to their words and
questions and to continue to provide the support necessary for each of them to
climb their own mountains, no matter how high.
As a mother, enough love looks like a loving embrace. As a teacher it looks like a genuine
curiosity and interest in who each
child is and what interests them and motivates them. It looks different depending on the roles we
play but it is always enough.
Recently I underwent heart surgery, and in the weeks leading
up to it I found myself more frenzied, emotional and less patient then I am
ordinarily. One night my oldest son came
in to my room and said, “Mom you need enough love” and he hugged me. Soon my
youngest son tackled me with a tight hold and there they sat hugging me until I
smiled and said, “Thank you, that’s enough”.
It was a great lesson. As a
parent and a teacher, I practice being present and available for the children
whom I am blessed to know and learn alongside.
But as an adult it is easy to forget that each of us, no matter our age,
needs enough. At times we need to show
up for ourselves with open arms, fully present and available for whatever is
arising. We need to occasionally set
aside our own busy schedules and to do lists long enough to offer ourselves
enough. And in so doing we will always have enough love to share.
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